In Death, Sacrifice
by Bleve
Summary: Grey Wardens know when their time is at an end. One shot. FemaleCousland/Alistair.


Unfortunately, I've been on a summer school mandatory hiatus from fanfiction for the past few months. My class load has let up a bit, and so I decided to brush the dust off of my writing skills by penning a one-shot. I have been playing Origins through for the second time (thanks for breaking stupid PS3), and of course, falling in love with Alistair all over again. In fact, getting to experience Alistair is the one good thing that came out of the PS3 going belly up. Now that I have this one-shot out of my system, I'll start working on my chapter stories.

Disclaimer – If I owned Dragon Age or its characters, I would not be in summer school.

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><p>My gaze traveled downward to the rolled-up piece of parchment within my hands. The guard captain had returned from his mission just moments ago, and he stood before me wearing a look of anxiety and apprehension across his strained face. His visage confirmed that which I already knew—all of the guardsmen, and in particular the men assigned to the palace, were on high alert after recent events.<p>

"You are certain that this was the only thing found in their quarters?" I asked.

He responded, "Yes, your majesty. My men and I scoured every inch of their rooms. There was no sign of a struggle, and all of their personal effects remained seemingly untouched. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for the letter. I assume it's a ransom note, but since it was sealed, I didn't dare open it."

My hands shook slightly as I flipped the roll of parchment over to look at the familiar impression upon it. I knew beforehand that I would find my father's seal there, but that knowledge did not make it any easier to see. I wrapped my fingers around the wax, and ripped it from the page, while crushing it in my fist. In that moment, I swore to myself that whoever the kidnapping bastards were, they were going to pay dearly. I angrily unrolled the letter, and nearly choked on my own tongue when I recognized the looping script. I could scarcely believe the words on the page, and I unconsciously blinked my eyes as I read them:

_"My precious children," _the letter began,_ "I know that this missive's appearance will no doubt shock you, but your father and I felt that you deserved to know the truth about our deaths…"_

As I continued reading, I laughed out loud in spite of myself, and the guard captain's nervous cough broke me out of my revelry. It occurred to me that he was probably confused by my show of giddiness while reading the "ransom" note. However, I didn't very much care at that moment; I was simply thrilled at the knowledge that they weren't caged in a cell somewhere. "Those sneaky little devils," I thought, as I smiled to myself. We were all aware that this day would come, and yet, I was not sure that my siblings and I would have been able to let them go. As their final selfless gift, my parents had managed to find a way to avoid that painful moment for their children. I had never been so monumentally happy and incredibly proud to be their son. I had a sudden urge to find my siblings and collectively finish reading our letter, so that they too could experience the joyous emotions and relief that was flooding through my mind.

"Thank you for bringing me this, Captain. You are dismissed."

To his credit, the captain looked utterly confused. "King Duncan, I do not wish to sound like I am questioning your judgment, but shouldn't we be gathering men to go after the kidnappers?"

I smiled and shook my head, "My parents kidnapped themselves, Captain. And where they are going, they do not wish to be found."

* * *

><p>I grinned broadly at my handsome, charming companion as he leaned against the cave wall beside me. I had known him for more than twenty years, and yet every day he found a new way to make me love him more. As I gazed at him, I could clearly see remnants of the awkward, young man that I had met in Ostagar so very long ago. Of course, his outward appearance had changed: his once sandy-golden locks were now tinged silver at the temples, and an extra crinkle had appeared around his eyes. The one thing that time had not touched was his infectious smile—on any given day he could still use it to soothe or infuriate me depending on the circumstance.<p>

We had paused briefly to catch our breath, and I took the opportunity to examine our surroundings. We managed to successfully sneak out of the royal palace in Orzammar, and had quickly made our way into the Deep Roads. We were not yet very far in, and we had already been attacked by a few stray deep stalkers.

He started breathlessly, "I can't believe we pulled that off."

"Pulled what off? Sneaking out of the palace or fighting?"

He laughed, "Both."

"Well, we used to do quite a bit of the latter and even did the former once or twice." I smirked at him, "Or have you forgotten where Eleanor was conceived in your old age?"

He smiled mischievously from ear to ear, "Oh, I have not forgotten." He ran his eyes hungrily along my body, "I have not forgotten where..." his voice heavy with lust and innuendo, "or how."

I laughed as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. After a few blissful moments, I felt his fingers reaching for the buckles on my armor, and I whispered, "Remember, my husband, that we are in the Deep Roads."

He groaned loudly, "I know, and that only makes it all the more intoxicating."

I moaned as his teeth nibbled along my neck, "Earlier was not enough for you?"

His eyes were as dark as darkspawn blood with want, "I can never have enough of you."

We pulled at each other's armor, ripping away the one thing that kept us physically apart, and I made love to my soul mate for one more precious time. This session was not soft and gentle, like our previous one. There was no cherishing each moment, no savoring this. It was to be short and sweet, a final needed release. He pushed me against the wall, and held me from behind. The act was all passion—it was feral, rough—we both knew that it would probably be our last and we wanted to make it count. I willed myself to remember everything I could: the feel of his breath against my shoulder blade, the sound of our pleasure-filled moans, the sight of his hands holding my hips. These were the thoughts I wanted at the end; when I drew my final breath in this world, Alistair alone would fill my mind.

* * *

><p>We continued our descent into the Deep Roads, making our way toward the heart of the darkspawn horde. I had lost track of how many hours we had marched; without the sun it was difficult to keep the time. We simply slept when we were tired, and continued to press onward. I was surprised at how easily we had both adapted to being back "on the road," so to speak. After all, it had been two decades since either of us had to survive in the wilderness. I suspected that our smooth transition had everything to do with the taint that was changing us from the inside out, and our desire to end it before it overtook us.<p>

I could vividly recall the day I went to my husband, and told him I could feel the end. I struggled to put it into words; how do you tell a loved one that you can feel yourself slipping away? But, I knew that if anyone in all of Thedas would understand, it would be him. Luckily, I did not have to explain, for he admitted that he had been feeling the same way for quite some time. We immediately began discussing what we should do, and in the end, we came to the only possible solution. There is only one option for a Grey Warden when their time comes.

I pushed thoughts of the past out of my mind, as I knew we were getting close to the bulk of the darkspawn. I could feel their collective taint pulling me toward them, like a sickly beacon, and I needed my wits about me. We were so very close to our needed end. I glanced to my partner at my side, and raised a hand to still him. I met his gaze, and his eyes were twinkling mischievously.

"We are an amazingly cheerful set, my love, considering that we are going off to die."

"What is there to be unhappy about? We both feel the taint encroaching on our minds. I have no desire to become the filth that we have fought tirelessly against. We have lived full lives, Alistair. I have no regrets."

He sighed, "I only wished we could have told everyone, especially the children, before leaving."

"You know they would never have allowed this. Duncan would have locked us in the tower, while Bryce pored over his books and Eleanor searched the countryside for a cure. Or, even if they had understood, it would have caused them incredible anguish to watch us go. It was easier for them this way."

He nodded, "I know…but it doesn't make it easier for us." For a moment, he looked incredibly sad, and then that comfortingly familiar impish smirk appeared on his face. "Of course, we never really have done things the easy way, have we? No dying in matching rocking chairs next to a fire for us."

I laughed at the mental picture envisioned by his words, "No, that is not for us." I took his hand, "Are you ready?"

"Almost…" Before I knew what he was doing, he grabbed me and kissed me so hard, I thought he was going to steal the air right out of my lungs. I returned it fervently, enjoying my last taste of him. He broke away, and tears rimmed his eyes as he whispered, "Elissa, I just want you to hear one last time that I love you. You gave me hope when there was despair, strength when I was weak, and courage when I was afraid. I have been a templar, a grey warden, a king—and in all of these things I would have amounted to nothing without you. You gave me three beautiful children, and a life filled with joy. I gladly go to the Maker with you at my side. I would have it no other way."

Tears streamed down my face at his words, "I may have been all of those things to you, Alistair; but you were always the reason I kept going. After the losses at Highever and Ostagar, I just wanted to give up and wallow in despair. When I saw you after the battle, your face lit up at my arrival. In that moment, I knew I mattered to you, and it gave me a reason to go forward. You were always there to support me, to comfort me, to make me laugh when I just wanted to cry. With your help, we did the impossible—we saved our land from destruction and rebuilt it into a glorious country. But, after all those accomplishments, I did not feel that I had completed my most important task until the day I bore our son. Now, we can leave Ferelden in his capable hands, and end our journey just as we started it—together."

I pried myself out of his embrace and drew my blades, while he reached over his shoulder for his sword and shield. It was time. I motioned with my head for him to follow behind me, and we rounded a corner that opened into a large valley. Hundreds, maybe thousands of darkspawn were camped within it. We would definitely take some of them with us, but their number was great enough to ensure our death. I looked at him, and for the last time, he gave me his stunning Alistair smile. We both howled out as we charged for the bulk of them, running together in stride. It did not take long for them to surround us, and we quickly stood back-to-back, mowing down whatever darkspawn we could. I could hear him calling out the names of our long-fallen brethren, and I joined him in chanting our final salute to the Grey Wardens. My blades blurred as I struck at whatever beast came into my vision, and I allowed my thoughts to wander to the beauty that was my husband and our lives together—the first kiss in camp, the day we married, the last time we made love. The last thing I felt was his back against mine…and then nothing.


End file.
